Sometimes family and business mix as well as oil and water. My brother-in-law made that crystal clear. I’m Clyde, an engineer by profession. I do house renovations for a living. This is what happened that caused my brother-in-law and I to sever ties, and it was all his fault.
Thanks to my job, this saga has been unfolding for the past couple of years. It involves my brother-in-law Jeff, a hefty renovation project, and an ocean of drama. Strap in because it’s quite a ride!
A few years back, Jeff approached me with a big ask. He wanted me to renovate his dingy, unfinished basement. He wanted the full works—several rooms, a bathroom, a kitchenette, and a family room. We weren’t as close, but I saw it as nothing more than a client’s ask.
As I run a renovation business, he trusted me to take on the project. Given we were family, I offered him a solid discount, pricing the whole job at $38,000. This was incredibly generous considering that a similar ask would cost him about three times the price I gave, on average.
While reconstructing his basement, Jeff would ask for changes here and there. He did this despite already approving the floor plan and layout.
Fast forward to the completion of the renovation. The basement was transformed. What was once a dark, uninviting space became a vibrant, living area. Jeff was satisfied, to say the least.
However, when it came time for payment, Jeff turned evasive. Each attempt to discuss his dues was met with excuses or delayed promises. About half a year later, his excuses began to turn into signs that he wouldn’t pay at all. He NEVER paid. He always had excuses, and he’d throw around lines like:
“We’re like real brothers now that you married my sister, would you ask for money from your brother?”
I tried talking to my wife about the situation, but she was supportive of her brother. She defended him and tried to persuade me to forget the payment. However, I had already shelled out my own money for this. I paid for the materials and the wages of my workers.
Two years of this dance passed. Then, Jeff needed to sell his house. His fiancee landed a job in a different city, and they agreed to move to accommodate her work. Suddenly, he called me on the phone. His voice was a mixture of anger and panic.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! Why can’t I sell my house?!” he exclaimed.
“Because you haven’t paid me for the work I did. That lien is quite real, Jeff,” I replied with a slight giggle.
The silence on the other end was palpable. You could cut the tension with a knife. Jeff promised, again, to pay as soon as the house sold. He even tried to guilt trip me into saying he was like my brother, but I wasn’t buying it this time. I replied:
“No, Jeff. Pay me what you owe, then we talk removal.”
It wasn’t just me he tried to manipulate; he even tried to pull my wife, his sister, into his financial mess. One evening, in our own living room, he tried to guilt her into covering his expenses. That was when she switched to my side.
“You’re my older sister, that’s what sisters do, help out.”
“Jeff, paying for your responsibilities isn’t helping, that’s enabling. You need to settle your debts.”
His audacity to twist familial bonds for his gain shocked us both. But when that didn’t work, he turned to my parents-in-law, hoping to tug on their heartstrings. They called, voices heavy with concern.
“We’ll pay what he owes. We can’t see him lose the house.”
“Fine, but he pays you back or it comes out of any inheritance. And interest starts accruing from the day of the loan.”
They reluctantly agreed, and the news of this arrangement set Jeff off once more. My wife was just as mad knowing that her inheritance money would also be deducted from her because of her brother.
Jeff said, “How could you involve our parents and talk about inheritance like that?!”
“You involved them, not me. You pushed this situation, Jeff.”
Finally cornered by reality, Jeff took out a line of credit and paid what he owed, with interest. The house sold for more than asking, largely due to the renovated basement, but not without leaving a bitter taste in everyone’s mouths.
The whole ordeal has strained, maybe even severed, some family ties. But it has reinforced my belief in standing firm on principles, even when it’s uncomfortable. Mixing family and business is tricky, and without clear boundaries, it can lead to situations nobody wants.
Like Jeff, another person was taught a valuable lesson by a family member. Sadly, the lesson cost her what could have been a nice familial home.
